Which thoughts are holding you back?
Let’s re-frame the question: “What thoughts is your mind using to hold you back?” Often, we create deceptive thoughts that distort our view of ourselves and reality. These thoughts are often fabrications, serving no real positive purpose. Our mind uses them to avoid stepping into the unknown and risking failure.
The instinct to avoid failure
While these thoughts may be rooted in instincts designed to keep us safe and help us avoid failure, in today’s world, failure tends to have less severe consequences. As a result, we need to recalibrate the cost-benefit analysis of taking risks. This part of our nature can lead us to fear potential negative outcomes more than we desire positive ones. Consequently, many of us only take action toward something better when we become desperate—when we realize that staying in our “safe” situation is also risky and is leading us to failure in many aspects of our lives.
Most people choose what seems like the less risky option, even if it means giving up on a life they want. Below is a list of common thoughts that people use to hold themselves back, instead of taking the necessary actions to achieve what they want:
Common limiting thoughts
I’m either overqualified, under-qualified, or my experience is in the wrong field.
I lack the commitment needed to succeed.
I’m destined to fail, so I might as well give up now.
I don’t have enough money to pursue my dreams.
The idea of grinding away for years just isn’t my style.
I’m too sensitive, too much of an artist, to fit into the regular job market.
I lack the talent needed to succeed in what I want.
Fear is holding me back, and that means I shouldn’t move forward.
I should have been born in a different time period.
I don’t have the courage to do what’s necessary, like making cold calls.
I have a tendency to quit when things get tough.
The circumstances are out of my control, like a vise holding me in place.
- I’m too young or too old to make a change.
My degree is irrelevant in today’s job market.
It’s just my karma; I can’t escape my fate.
I don’t believe I can pursue something I truly want.
The careers I want don’t pay well enough to sustain me.
I didn’t have the right opportunities, and I probably won’t get them in the future.
I want to help others, but the world is too cruel and heartless for that.
- It’s hard for me to make decisions; I struggle with indecision.
I’m an immigrant, and my English isn’t good enough.
I’ll never get into the right school or program.
I’ve failed before, so what makes me think I can succeed now?
I’m too smart for this, or maybe not smart enough.
Work isn’t meant to be enjoyable; that’s why it’s called work.
My skills are outdated, undervalued, or just not right for what I want.
- I just finished college, but I feel unprepared for the real world.
I chose the wrong major, and now I’m stuck with it.
I’m really trying, but nothing seems to work—it’s not my fault.
I’m not a natural risk-taker.
It’s hopeless; I have a fatal flaw that holds me back.
I don’t fit the mold—I’m the wrong gender, race, or background.
I went to the wrong college or didn’t get enough education.
What’s holding you back
So, what thoughts is your mind using to hold you back?
Because of my journey, I developed whatastep.com to share lessons I learned and help others surpass this challenge.
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Related post
Feeling stuck in life
As I sat in my comfortable home, accompanied by my parents, pets, and the peaceful surroundings of my neighborhood, I felt somehow stuck. Despite my relaxed life, I couldn’t help but compare myself and my life with what it might be.
I had a good life, but I couldn’t shake the idea that I was missing out on something bigger. The appeal of new and exciting opportunities became persistent and hard to ignore.
A negative feeling
A negative feeling started to emerge, along with negative thoughts. I began to wonder if I had made the wrong choices and if I should have taken on more challenges and risks. I had always been hesitant to take on the stress that came with more challenging paths and stepping outside of my comfort zone, but I was starting to question how far I wanted to go. Had I gone far enough? Was I truly happy with myself and my life?
Why I was feeling stuck in life
What was causing me to feel stuck? Could I try new things? I needed to assess myself and identify what was missing in my life and what I was already content with. I believed that if I felt stuck, it meant that I wanted to pursue something different or go somewhere else. I began to ask myself questions such as, “Where did I want to be? What did I want to achieve? Did I want to achieve that now, or was it okay if it took one or ten years?” I was trying to gain a better understanding of what I hoped for and what becoming unstuck meant to me.
What was holding me back
I was torn between the comfort of my life and the change and opportunities I longed for. “Should I have taken a chance and pursued a more rewarding career or started a family, even if it meant sacrificing my life balance? Or should I continue with my comfortable daily routine, knowing that it would most likely impede my ability to gain the new and different experiences that I admired and wanted in life?”
What was my goal
Marriage, children, creating my own family, and becoming more prosperous – these ideas were circling in my mind. But what was it that I truly longed for and valued in them? Did I want to have more people around me to care for, or did I want others to care for me? Was I simply bored, or was there something deeper driving these desires? Did I need these things for biological reasons that I had to accept, or was there an external factor influencing my desires? Did I truly want these things for myself, or was it because I felt pressured by others to pursue them?
As I examined the potential rewards of these desires, I came to the realization that they weren’t solely my values. Family, prosperity, and enjoyment of life belonged to anyone who attained and held them. It was the same with ideas – they didn’t belong to me or anyone else; they simply formed inside one person’s head and then in another’s. It didn’t matter if others held the same ideas or values or if we came to them by similar or different means. The fact that others shared and needed the same idea, wish, or value didn’t diminish its worth, just as an apple didn’t lose its value because others wanted, needed, or ate them.
#I don’t know what to do with myself #I don’t know myself #I don’t know what to do with my life #I have no interests #I don’t like anything #habits #perspective #thing #person #love #new love #be your true self #avoid negative thoughts #consider therapy #avoid social media
