I don’t know what to do with myself
Do you recognize these thoughts? I don’t know myself. I don’t know what to do with my life. I have no interests. I don’t want anything. I don’t like anything.
These thoughts can be useful.
I don’t know myself
What is it to know one’s self?
Is it to have experiences that make you feel like yourself? Is the reaction you have to an experience, you? Does experience reveal who you are?
Is it the measure of your capacity within the world? You can change things by your actions. Is the impact that you have on someone or something, you? Does your capacity define who you are?
Is it knowledge about the path you choose to pursue? You select a purpose in life. Is your chosen pursuit, you? Does pursuit shape who you are?
Is it a concept that you hold about yourself? A concept that you can bind yourself to. Are you a concept you associate with? Does the concept you hold of yourself determine who you are?
If you don’t know yourself, does it mean you don’t know your capacity, limits, potential, and purpose? What does that mean? Do you lack experience? Do you lack a concept you want to associate with? Are you lacking anything at all?
How can you know your abilities, limits, potential, and purpose? Are these things set? Aren’t they flexible according to the actions you may or may not take? Why use flexible things to define yourself? Is it because you are flexible, too?
If you aren’t flexible why is that? Did you bind yourself to consistency even when it became negative and destructive?
Is the concept you hold of yourself negative and destructive? You don’t want to know yourself because you don’t like who you are or your situation. You don’t like your experience or your reactions to it. You don’t like the measure of your capacity. You don’t care for the path you experienced, and that is weakening your belief in the potential of your future path. Do you reject a concept of yourself because you don’t believe it would be positive or constructive?
Why do you need to define yourself in a manner that is negative, destructive, and discouraging? Is it because if you don’t perceive negativity and destructiveness you won’t act to avoid it?
If you intend to become conscious solely of your positive self, isn’t it a fabrication? Yes, it is. But if you are to rely on your potential self, fabrication is exactly what you need. You can fabricate thoughts, beliefs and make use of your flexibility.
Fabricate something better using your mind and make it real with actions.
I don’t know what to do with my life
There is nothing specific you must do with your life, but survival might become bland or a living hell. Increasing your well-being is not a necessity, but it is a way to avoid unnecessary suffering. It is the way to improve your life.
Life is not a zero-some game. If you stand still and do nothing, it ends miserably. Life implies a series of requirements. How much you lack and know about those requirements might be a scary realization.
How much of what you see outside the window is there because of your effort? How much of it do you know how to do? Do you know how to make medication, electricity, or food? Could you learn and make everything you need to live to a ripe old age?
Your efforts are bound to your capacity. Through others’ efforts, you gain freedom from your scale. This liberation has a price. It disconnects you from most things. It liberates you from parts of your interactive capacity. You lose experiences where interests could grow. This results in a lack of engagement with the world and with your effort in it.
How can you gain this experience and interactive capacity?
I have no interests
You don’t have a developed sense of the elements capable of making you feel engaged with the world. You lack engaging experiences. You are not interacting with the world in an engaging way.
The experiences and interactions you have now hinder your capacity to develop interests.
How can you change that?
How can you interact with the world to feel engaged?
You get engaged through your senses and your thoughts.
Experiencing the world means engaging with actions, people, things, places, ideas, sensations, and feelings. Some will appeal to you, others will repel you, and others you will perceive as indifferent.
You can work with all.
You can integrate what appeals to you and doesn’t deny well-being into your life. How to integrate people, objects, places, ideas, sensations, and feelings into your life?
You can remove what repels you from your life and fight against it. Negative feelings and thoughts are useful. They have the power to drive you, too.
Interest can develop by having or not having something. They can also develop by wanting or not wanting an experience. Do not ignore the negative. What are you interested in avoiding?
Positive and negative are both integral parts of engaging with the world. Both make you aware of your interests. Are you ignoring negativity and its capacity to drive your interests? Could this be the main reason you don’t identify interests?
You can transform the things you are indifferent to. What are these people, objects, ideas, sensations, and feelings missing? Can they evolve? Can you evolve to make better use of them? What can you do about it?
Interact with the world to experience it and to improve the experience.
I don’t like anything
What do you mean? You don’t like to eat chocolate? You don’t like to sleep, walk, or swim? You don’t like to think? You don’t like to talk? You don’t like anyone? You don’t like any type of event? You don’t like to play games, watch movies, or listen to music? You don’t like any books or ideas? You don’t like any place, action, or feeling?
Are you confusing not liking anything with not liking what you’re experiencing or doing now?
I don’t want anything
Do you want to keep having the same day you’re now repeating day in and day out for the rest of your life?
If you don’t, it means you want change. You want something different, something better.
You don’t want anything, or is it anything from what you believe you are capable or willing to do?
Do your thoughts and beliefs imprison you? There are things worth wanting in life. Why are you not aware of them?
Does being unable to do the things you want now stop you from wanting them? Does achieving a place you care for later in life make what you want worthless now? If it takes two, five, or ten years for you to get to a place you care for. Is it no longer worth it?
Life is an opportunity to experience and interact with the world. What do you want to guide your experience? Your interaction or your lack of interaction with the world?
If you can’t name one thing you would like to try, you’re mind needs a nudge. What could bring you well-being? Don’t focus on what you think. What have others tried and found helpful?
If you cannot rely on your own interests for now, that is OK. The important part is to put yourself on a mission you choose to pursue. You are putting yourself on a flexible track to experience and interact. It is flexible because there is no wrong move as long as you aim at something that brings well-being. It doesn’t matter if you pursue it for one hour a day, three hours a week, or four days a month. What matters is that you are making the decisions. If this week you don’t want it or want something else, that’s fine. Next week, you can get going again. It is your choice, and you aren’t forced to pursue this track if you don’t want to.
Balance the freedom of knowing what you don’t want with the freedom to recognize what you do think you want.
There are things you won’t know if you want or not. But you might want to try them, to find out.
To decide to find out is to decide to place yourself on the path to make your life more interesting for yourself.
You are not a voice inside your head
Is the result of your thoughts a voice that tells you that you aren’t capable or tough enough? Is it a negative voice that paints everything you want as unattainable?
That isn’t you. You are more than your thoughts.
Those negative thoughts come from a mindset that you can transform.
Because of my journey, I developed whatastep.com to share lessons I learned and help others surpass this challenge.
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Related post
Feeling stuck in life
As I sat in my comfortable home, accompanied by my parents, pets, and the peaceful surroundings of my neighborhood, I felt somehow stuck. Despite my relaxed life, I couldn’t help but compare myself and my life with what it might be.
I had a good life, but I couldn’t shake the idea that I was missing out on something bigger. The appeal of new and exciting opportunities became persistent and hard to ignore.
A negative feeling
A negative feeling started to emerge, along with negative thoughts. I began to wonder if I had made the wrong choices and if I should have taken on more challenges and risks. I had always been hesitant to take on the stress that came with more challenging paths and stepping outside of my comfort zone, but I was starting to question how far I wanted to go. Had I gone far enough? Was I truly happy with myself and my life?
Why I was feeling stuck in life
What was causing me to feel stuck? Could I try new things? I needed to assess myself and identify what was missing in my life and what I was already content with. I believed that if I felt stuck, it meant that I wanted to pursue something different or go somewhere else. I began to ask myself questions such as, “Where did I want to be? What did I want to achieve? Did I want to achieve that now, or was it okay if it took one or ten years?” I was trying to gain a better understanding of what I hoped for and what becoming unstuck meant to me.
What was holding me back
I was torn between the comfort of my life and the change and opportunities I longed for. “Should I have taken a chance and pursued a more rewarding career or started a family, even if it meant sacrificing my life balance? Or should I continue with my comfortable daily routine, knowing that it would most likely impede my ability to gain the new and different experiences that I admired and wanted in life?”
What was my goal
Marriage, children, creating my own family, and becoming more prosperous – these ideas were circling in my mind. But what was it that I truly longed for and valued in them? Did I want to have more people around me to care for, or did I want others to care for me? Was I simply bored, or was there something deeper driving these desires? Did I need these things for biological reasons that I had to accept, or was there an external factor influencing my desires? Did I truly want these things for myself, or was it because I felt pressured by others to pursue them?
As I examined the potential rewards of these desires, I came to the realization that they weren’t solely my values. Family, prosperity, and enjoyment of life belonged to anyone who attained and held them. It was the same with ideas – they didn’t belong to me or anyone else; they simply formed inside one person’s head and then in another’s. It didn’t matter if others held the same ideas or values or if we came to them by similar or different means. The fact that others shared and needed the same idea, wish, or value didn’t diminish its worth, just as an apple didn’t lose its value because others wanted, needed, or ate them.
#I don’t know what to do with myself #I don’t know myself #I don’t know what to do with my life #I have no interests #I don’t like anything #habits #perspective #thing #person #love #new love #be your true self #avoid negative thoughts #consider therapy #avoid social media
