Do I get to pick my interests and dreams?
The question of whether we get to choose our interests and dreams is more complex than it might seem. The short answer is that you have some control, but not complete autonomy in the matter. Think of it like trying a new food: you can decide to taste it or pass on the opportunity, but the availability of that food and your reaction to it are not entirely within your control.
The influence of availability
Before you can even consider whether to try something new, you first have to be aware of its existence. If a particular food isn’t available in your environment—if you’ve never seen it in stores, heard people talk about it, or read about it—you’ll never have the chance to experience it.
The same principle applies to your interests and dreams. If you’ve never been exposed to a certain hobby, career path, or field of study, you won’t have the opportunity to develop an interest in it. Your imagination and creativity might expand the range of what’s available to you, but even these are shaped by what you already know.
The limits of choice in liking something
Even when something is available to you, there’s another layer of complexity: you don’t get to choose whether you like it. Just as you can’t force yourself to enjoy a certain food, you can’t control whether you’re drawn to a particular hobby, subject, or career. You can choose to try something new, but whether you end up liking it or not is beyond your control.
For example, you might decide to taste an apple or watch a soccer game, but whether you enjoy the flavor of the apple or the excitement of the game isn’t a decision you make—it’s a natural response.
Influencing your experience
While you can’t choose your preferences, you can influence your experience. A fresh, well-prepared apple or an expertly baked apple pie might be more enjoyable than a bruised or poorly prepared one. Similarly, your mood and mindset when trying something new can significantly impact how you perceive it
Being aware of how your emotional state colors your experiences can help you approach new opportunities with a more positive and open mind, even if maintaining a good mood isn’t always easy.
Choosing to pursue your interests
You won’t have access to every possible option, and you won’t enjoy everything you try. Plus, you can’t control what will capture your interest. However, you do have the power to choose whether to pursue the interests and dreams that do captivate you. Once you’ve discovered something you enjoy, you can decide to explore it further. For example, if you try an apple and like it, you might choose to explore other dishes made with apples.
The choice to reject or embrace
There’s also the choice to reject even the things that genuinely interest you. You might decide to stay within your comfort zone, avoiding new experiences and opportunities for growth. But if you never follow your curiosity, you’ll miss out on the potential for discovery and self-development. On the other hand, if you choose to pursue what genuinely resonates with you, you’ll uncover new possibilities and grow in meaningful ways.
Diligently explore what resonates with you
In the end, while you don’t have complete control over your interests and dreams, you do have the ability to explore and pursue what resonates with you. By being open to new experiences and mindful of how your mood and environment affect your perceptions, you can make the most of the opportunities that come your way. So, diligently explore what calls to you, and allow yourself to grow and transform through the journey.
Because of my journey, I developed whatastep.com to share lessons I learned and help others surpass this challenge.
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Related post
Feeling stuck in life
As I sat in my comfortable home, accompanied by my parents, pets, and the peaceful surroundings of my neighborhood, I felt somehow stuck. Despite my relaxed life, I couldn’t help but compare myself and my life with what it might be.
I had a good life, but I couldn’t shake the idea that I was missing out on something bigger. The appeal of new and exciting opportunities became persistent and hard to ignore.
A negative feeling
A negative feeling started to emerge, along with negative thoughts. I began to wonder if I had made the wrong choices and if I should have taken on more challenges and risks. I had always been hesitant to take on the stress that came with more challenging paths and stepping outside of my comfort zone, but I was starting to question how far I wanted to go. Had I gone far enough? Was I truly happy with myself and my life?
Why I was feeling stuck in life
What was causing me to feel stuck? Could I try new things? I needed to assess myself and identify what was missing in my life and what I was already content with. I believed that if I felt stuck, it meant that I wanted to pursue something different or go somewhere else. I began to ask myself questions such as, “Where did I want to be? What did I want to achieve? Did I want to achieve that now, or was it okay if it took one or ten years?” I was trying to gain a better understanding of what I hoped for and what becoming unstuck meant to me.
What was holding me back
I was torn between the comfort of my life and the change and opportunities I longed for. “Should I have taken a chance and pursued a more rewarding career or started a family, even if it meant sacrificing my life balance? Or should I continue with my comfortable daily routine, knowing that it would most likely impede my ability to gain the new and different experiences that I admired and wanted in life?”
What was my goal
Marriage, children, creating my own family, and becoming more prosperous – these ideas were circling in my mind. But what was it that I truly longed for and valued in them? Did I want to have more people around me to care for, or did I want others to care for me? Was I simply bored, or was there something deeper driving these desires? Did I need these things for biological reasons that I had to accept, or was there an external factor influencing my desires? Did I truly want these things for myself, or was it because I felt pressured by others to pursue them?
As I examined the potential rewards of these desires, I came to the realization that they weren’t solely my values. Family, prosperity, and enjoyment of life belonged to anyone who attained and held them. It was the same with ideas – they didn’t belong to me or anyone else; they simply formed inside one person’s head and then in another’s. It didn’t matter if others held the same ideas or values or if we came to them by similar or different means. The fact that others shared and needed the same idea, wish, or value didn’t diminish its worth, just as an apple didn’t lose its value because others wanted, needed, or ate them.
#I don’t know what to do with myself #I don’t know myself #I don’t know what to do with my life #I have no interests #I don’t like anything #habits #perspective #thing #person #love #new love #be your true self #avoid negative thoughts #consider therapy #avoid social media
